I’m not going to talk about healthcare … I’m not going to talk about healthcare … I’m not going to talk about healthcare …

Dang it. So, let’s talk about health care.

Or more specifically, the healthcare you can be denied (or charged completely ridiculous totally unaffordable premiums for) if you happen to have one of these following pre-existing conditions: AIDS/HIV, acid reflux, acne, ADD, addiction, Alzheimer’s/dementia, anemia, aneurysm, angioplasty, anorexia, anxiety, arrhythmia, arthritis, asthma, atrial fibrillation and autism.

But wait! There’s more: bariatric surgery, basal cell carcinoma, bipolar disorder, blood clot, breast cancer, bulimia, bypass surgery, celiac disease, cerebral aneurysm, cerebral embolism, cerebral palsy, cerebral thrombosis, cervical cancer, colon cancer, colon polyps, congestive heart failure, COPD, Crohn’s disease, cystic fibrosis, DMD, depression, diabetes, disabilities and Down syndrome.

And don’t forget eating disorders, enlarged prostate, epilepsy, glaucoma, gout, heart disease, heart murmur, heartburn, hemophilia, hepatitis C, herpes, high cholesterol, hypertension, hysterectomy, kidney disease, kidney stones, kidney transplant, leukemia, lung cancer, lupus, lymphoma, mental health issues, migraines, MS and muscular dystrophy.

And, just for kicks and giggles, let’s throw in narcolepsy, nasal polyps, obesity, OCD, organ transplant, osteoporosis, pacemaker, panic disorder, paralysis, paraplegia, Parkinson’s disease, pregnancy, restless leg syndrome, schizophrenia, seasonal affective disorder, seizures, sickle cell disease, skin cancer, sleep apnea, sleep disorders, stent, stroke, thyroid issues, tooth disease, tuberculosis and ulcers.

Just to name a few …

So, just to be clear, rape is a pre-existing condition. So is domestic abuse. Got it? Good, just making sure we’re all on the same page here.

I know the South is a traditionally conservative Republican area — but c’mon! Am I really the only person who thinks this is just crazy?

All right, so you hate the ACA. I get it.I do.

The individual mandate thing, not cool. The fact a Democrat rolled it in, OMG. But is this really the answer?

Be honest: Are you happy about the passage of the House bill because you genuinely think it’s better? Or are you just happy to have thrown out the black guy’s signature legislation?

Think about it.

Of course, it’s not a done deal. The bill barely passed in the House and still faces the Senate (which will undoubtedly add its own provisions) before it has to clear the House again with any changes and get sent back to the Senate if it makes any changes. We all know the School House Rock “How a bill becomes a law” song.

In short, the bill has a long road before it gets anywhere near the President’s desk.

But as far as the Senate goes, at a recent town hall meeting in Clemson, Sen. Lindsay Graham spoke about repeal and replace saying, “And if you smoke, you’re darn right you’re ‘gonna pay more.”

Now, I understand the mentality behind the statement but it makes me wonder if he’d include a similar provision for people who eat fried chicken or fast food. Drink sweet tea? Well, it’s bad for you. Pay more.

I’m guessing not.

But while smoking (or eating fried chicken) is something you decide to do — even though you know it’s not healthy — having most pre-existing conditions is not.

Take Autism. Or Lupus. Or pretty much any of the things listed above — no one chooses to have any of those things. Half the stuff on there are conditions you can be born with.

Imagine that: thousands upon thousands of uninsurable people roaming the country because they dared to be born with a preexisting condition.

Insane.

So, to all of you who are reading this right now and are just itching to send an angry email to that “Yankee liberal Jew reporter” — just remember — don’t get your blood pressure too high when you’re typing.

I’d hate for you to lose your insurance.

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Strickly Speaking

Kasie Strickland

Kasie Strickland is a staff writer for The Sentinel-Progress and can be reached at kstrickland@civitasmedia.com. Views expressed in this column are those of the writer only and do not necessarily represent the newspaper’s opinion.